Posted by: brambledoula | August 29, 2007

I don’t call myself hormonal for nothing…

“Oh honey,

it’s alright you cryin’

and don’t know why.

Sometimes when a pregnant woman

is cryin’ over nothin’,

she cryin’ for her baby ’cause it can’t cry yet,

and when she laugh over nothin’

she laugh for her baby all happy in there.”

-Advice from an old African American woman, as recounted in the book ‘Birthing From Within’

Ah, if only it were that simple. And hopefully it’s not, to a degree. See I cry at the drop of a hat, and I’d hate to think this kid is crying that much. But, for the most part, I’m not even sad, or stressed, or any of that.

My most recent set off was seeing a baby get fed a bottle. I know, I try, I really do, to put myself in another person’s shoes and figure that they probably have their reasons for bottlefeeding. Still, my heart broke for that poor little baby, with her glassy eyes and propped up bottle. At least a bottle could be fed with as much attention as a nursing, if you have to bottle feed.

Quite often tho there is no set off. Or a stupid set off. Or a good set off.

Tomorrow I’m going to do crafts at a homeless shelter with my oldest son and whatever children are living at the shelter. Just planning what crafts to do leaves me sitting here crying because I just think of these unfortunate kids in their situation. It’ll be a miracle to get through the hour and a half I’m allotted while others from our group prepare dinner to serve the kids and their family when I’m done.

That’s a good reason to cry at least. I imagine I might bust up over that one on a strong pms day even.

And then there’s just the random bust out crying. No real reason per se, just walking along and boom wah off I go. Maybe those ones are just the baby letting out a word or two.

And I do sometimes laugh for no reason. Mostly when I get little whumps and kicks because they just catch me so off guard. Those are definitely baby.

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Responses

  1. I know how you feel, both about being emotional and about bottlefeeding. I try to remind myself that I don’t know if she can’t breastfeed or what her reasoning is. The ones I do know, like my brother’s girlfriend, she just didn’t want to. Drives me crazy. And at least they could hold their baby while they use a bottle.


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