I had an interesting dream last night that I had a little farm with a huge sun porch and some alpaca’s that I was shearing for wool to spin. Was very relaxing. My porch had several parakeets and my iguana on it, and I was teaching women’s classes out there. Lovely

So I’ve been planning to EC this baby pretty much from the beginning (I figure we’ll start 1-2 weeks in depending on how our routine gets going).  I had a dream that I had a nice 7lb baby boy, who pees on me about ever 5 seconds while giggling madly with glee at me about it! It was all very funny and frustrating at the same time. I’m sure it’s all just a manifestation of some fear of not being able to EC, but still what a way to present itself!

I dreamt I was getting all these tattoos and in particular this one on my face of a woman. The tattoo artist told me to name her ‘Mira’. I said ‘why?’ and he responded “Cuz you’ll se her every time you look in the mirra’ ha ha!”

::groan::

I have mentioned I have insomnia. Said insomnia only gets worse during pregnancy as I have this tendency to pull the same muscle in my back every single pregnancy, and it makes it hard to sleep at night.

Ironically I got this little tip in my email this morning:

Rest Easy

Your third trimester is when your body needs the most rest. Ironically, it’s also probably when you are not getting very much good sleep. Between leg cramps, heartburn, and more trips to the bathroom, it’s no wonder that it seems like your body is trying to get used to sleep deprivation for when the baby comes! To get more and better sleep at night:

• Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
• Have a glass of milk before you go to bed at night.
• Avoid spicy foods within 3 hours of bedtime.
• Get a little bit of exercise or fresh air sometime in the late afternoon or evening.

Read more about how to slip into a steady slumber: http://www.babyfit.com/articles.asp?id=546

Oddly removing the baby doesn’t seem to be anywhere on that list. Probably because you still don’t get any more sleep with a newborn. Still, with a newborn I feel like I get a more solid sleep even if it’s less hours, and I’ll take that over what I’ve got now.

Anyway, enough whining and digression. I think about weird stuff when I can’t sleep. I often get these ideas stuck in my head and make it harder to sleep because my brain just won’t shut down around said ideas.

Here is where my disclaimer comes in.

I got to thinking about astral projection.  (Really, I’m not high)

I had a friend in college who was really into studying it. It’s an interesting concept and there seems to be a couple types of it. Both involve somehow leaving your body behind, connected only by a thin rope of spectral goo, to do one of two things- visit real time places and people virtually unbeknownst to  all, or to travel the astral plane among unicorns and dragons and the like.  The first is sort of a nice idea at first; say you’re separated from your beloved, you can easily go visit them. At the same time it’s the stuff that sci-fi movies are made of. Many an X-files episode dealt with people able to leave their body at will to commit crime, or movies of serial killers leaving their bodies to either possess another, or to jump from their body just before the moment of death to remain alive to torment others. Didn’t even Lord Voldemort do this in a manner of speaking, removing pieces of his soul to store in inanimate objects in order to remain somewhat immortal, or take the “Chucky” movies, with the killer possessing a doll in order to cheat death. Creepy stuff. Also there is the theory that while you’re out of body someone else can jump in and use yours, or that if the cord binding you to your body is somehow cut, it would bring on your death (Stephen King has a story floating around somewhere of little astral creatures that go around and cut the cord of living, in-body, people, that connects them to the cosmos in general.)

The second sort of travel to me is more a method of deep meditation. I meditate frequently myself and often a dragon or unicorn or other astral type creature may show up only because I like dragons and unicorns, feel they are creatures of protection and would make sense for them to be there. If you’re a big KISS fan your meditations might take place as a concert. To each their own. This sort feels more realistic to me, tho less a form of true “travel” and not as much a leaving of the body, and more a form of almost lucid dreaming perhaps. I do think that this mindspace may leave your self more open and susceptible but not to the degree that actually leaving your body may. Deep meditation is a part of many faiths, a place where enlightenment can occur. It’s often considered a necessity for health.

There is also a theory that we create an astral web of sorts, between all people we have connections with in our lives, and that in a way we are all interconnected with each other because of this.  If you start studying dreams and dream cycles (also considered connected with the astral plane), you’ll find cases of people having the same dreams as each other, which is linked to this theory of the great web we’re all connected by. (If you like this idea start reading Orson Scott Card’s Ender books, as you get into the third or fourth one it really starts getting into things like philotic connections and “realspace” and “no-space” and the drawing of souls to create life, etc)

Here’s where I get this somewhat on topic for my general blog subjects:

I got to thinking about how various sorts of astral travel relate to pregnancy. If you think about it, depending on when you feel the beginning of life (soul entering the body?) is, if you feel life begins as conception, then pregnancy is the only time in your life that two souls can sort of occupy one body. Some people believe in spirit babies, who circle us until it is their time to be born, and many mothers report knowing their babies before conception.  Some religious texts note that this soul enters the baby’s body at the moment of quickening, somewhat condoning abortive procedures before that point as the baby isn’t considered “alive” without it’s soul.  Either way, if you are truly able to leave your body to walk around the mundane world, if you are pregnant does the baby stay put, does it travel with you, is the baby able to take over your body in order to protect it from dangers of others willing to take it over, etc?

It’s really a confusing concept, the idea of two souls in one body, and hard to explain to anyone who’s never been pregnant.

The second sort of “travel” to me always seemed to be a good way for the meeting of the souls, a way that you and your baby could meet in this astral/meditative space to talk with one another. A way for mothers to communicate with their unborn. Focus on a safe location for your point of meditation, call out to your unborn, and see if they come to you. May also be a good media for birth art, meditating first upon the possibilities you want to manifest (healthy baby, natural birth, short labor, etc), visualizing them to a point where they seem reality, and then placing them down on paper as a way to solidify them in the “real” world.

If you get into thinking about the philotic connections and astral web, then we, and our babies, and our spouses, and baby’s siblings, etc, are all connected all the time, and outward on for eternity. Deep stuff.

Do you see now why I don’t sleep? I just get to wondering all night about subjects that really don’t have answers because the subject itself may not exist in the first place.

Really, I swear I’m not high. Just sleep deprived. Coffee anyone?

I’d dreamt that I’d had the baby in the hospital but he was sick so they’d put him in NICU and we weren’t allowed to see him for a week. So at the end of the week I had called and asked if he was better and when we could pick him up. They said they had no idea what I was talking about or who I was. I went in, very pissed off, showed them pictures of my baby and said this is my baby where is he, and it turned out they had given him to another family by accident. So then, this other family had disappeared and was unable to be found for contact. I then tried getting the police involved.

At that point the dream morphed away from birth and turned into something about a waterslide park in an antique store…(I know right? wtf…)

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

Ah soliloquies, home of the worlds longest run on sentences. No, I'm not thinking of

 killing myself. However, no I don't sleep, as I've mentioned.

Lately when I do sleep I have some pretty damn odd dreams. I wish I could remember

where I found it, but I read an article recently stating that pregnant women most

commonly have dreams in one of the four following topics:

Sex

Pets

Ex-loves

Partner leaving

I've surprisingly had all of these at some point recently and find it interesting that our

thoughts must all run the same while pregnant so often as to be able to predict these

genres. My most common ones lately fall into the pet category. Generally they involve

 things like mama bunnies nurturing their babies and the like, which is quite pleasant.

Occasionally, and quite separately, the ex-love pops their ugly heads in. I think the

reasoning behind them is maybe a lost youth, moving on sort of thing? I'm not sure.

Partner leaving I've fortunately only had once or twice. I imagine those just come

from the insecurity of being pregnant in general.

And of course the all famous sex dream. Ah those are generally nice. Often feature

just the faceless stranger, less often DH or sometimes the star of whatever movie

I fell asleep watching. I'm sure that those appear simply out of pregnancy just

being such a sexual state.

Anyhow I just find it so curious that I manged to fit into a category when I so often

try to break out of the mold!